Tuesday, October 11, 2011

[day 11] desiring action

I forget. I make excuses.

The same God that I trust for my salvation, is most certainly big enough to handle the lesser important things... even the things that seem so big in the moment. Yet I don't trust Him with that stuff. I get impatient. When I don't "hear" from Him, I make a decision myself.

I am so tempted to do that today, yet I feel so confused, I don't know which direction to take. It's just one of those rainy days when I spend time over-thinking things more than I usually do. I'm a little more sensitive to silly things that happen, trying to read into them as "signs" from God just because I'm too impatient for things to work their way out. I excuse my impatience due to my feelings, my self-desire for action.

The question I have is just "what next? what now?" - not for my family, but just for me personally. I guess the heart of the issue is just discontentment. I'm looking for a change, something "exciting" when I'm just ignoring what I need to be focusing on and plug along diligently. I need to spend some extra time in prayer to ask Him (once again), "What's next? What do you want me doing right now?" And if He doesn't answer, stay close to Him, and be ready.

I'd better never move to Seattle. The rain would just drive me to "think" way too much, lol.
Are you mulling over anything today?

1 comment:

Courtney K. said...

I have that issue. Patience is not my strong suite at ALL. Whenever I want an answer, I want it then. And when I don't HEAR an answer (probably because I don't slow down long enough to listen), I make a choice myself. But, I think it's HUGE that you recognize that. And yeah...the rain? Definitely doesn't help with the "thinking" issue. :)