Friday, August 15, 2008

errrr... what to do?

Why does being a mommy have to be so hard? AKA: Why does my daughter have to be so stubborn? AKA: Why don't I have a "social butterfly" daughter? This week would be so much easier if... if... if...
I love seeing the personality that God has given my daughter and I love looking for the positives in some of the "negative qualities." Her shyness keeps her from talking with strangers. Her slow-to-warm-up personality has enabled her to be one that looks at situations and think about things before jumping in. Her stubbornness... hm, still working on that one. I hope this one will show up when it comes to peer pressure - staying stubborn on doing the "right" thing vs. the "wrong" thing.
The past three days, I have walked her in and stayed with her in the gathering area/kids chapel before class, then walking with her to the room. Yesterday she did great, in fact I was even worried it was so great (dumb me). Then today, she decided to grab my leg and say "No, no, no!" This was clearly not fear, but disobedience. She was like, "I don't want to go in and I won't go in!" Err... so, I managed to pry her off, told her I loved her, told her she was being disobedient, that she needed to go in to her class. I would pick her up after school. Then I left the hall with her screaming and crying outside the classroom as other moms were dropping off their kids. Ah, how wonderful. I do thank God for some supportive other mommies, though. As one was walking in, I explained that that was my child crying and would she encourage Lynn to go in w/ her child, and she did. Then another mom came out/down the hall and told me she was fine, that she had stopped crying and made it in.
Somehow we'll make it through this school year! I just pray that routine will become routine and that she'll build the confidence to go in on her own. I pray for me, as mommy, to have wisdom on how to not "enable" her disobedience (am I setting her up for failure when I walk to her room with her? Other moms drop kids off at the outside door to the school, where they are guided in by an adult). But, at the same time, this is all new and I want to help her through the transition. We've talked each day about her day, how she felt about things, etc.
This is so different from preschool! There I was able to communicate daily with the teacher, know what was going on, and easily drop her off as she was comfortable (preschool was at our church). I know it'll just take time and I need to hang in there. So, that's what I'm trying to do... pray and hang in there!

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