Tuesday, May 27, 2008

May 27, 2008

... They brought you back to me wrapped in the white fluffy blanket from Grams and put you in my arms. The feeling of you in my arms is a feeling I hope I never forget. It's what God gives mommies - we have this need for a baby to hold to our chest. It just builds all nine months along with you. When you were placed in my arms, I pulled you in close. That's what I feel "cheated" of now - the desire for you in my arms leaves them aching at times. God gave us such a sweet time of goodbye that early morning. I rocked you in my arms, tears streaming down my face, singing to you the two songs I'd sing to Lynn as an infant to calm her down - "Amazing Grace" and "I Love You, Lord." I don't blame God for this. I'm clinging to the hope, to the knowledge that He only desires the best for me. While I can't even fathom while this is in His plan, I rest in assurance He will one day show me.

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