... They brought you back to me wrapped in the white fluffy blanket from Grams and put you in my arms. The feeling of you in my arms is a feeling I hope I never forget. It's what God gives mommies - we have this need for a baby to hold to our chest. It just builds all nine months along with you. When you were placed in my arms, I pulled you in close. That's what I feel "cheated" of now - the desire for you in my arms leaves them aching at times. God gave us such a sweet time of goodbye that early morning. I rocked you in my arms, tears streaming down my face, singing to you the two songs I'd sing to Lynn as an infant to calm her down - "Amazing Grace" and "I Love You, Lord." I don't blame God for this. I'm clinging to the hope, to the knowledge that He only desires the best for me. While I can't even fathom while this is in His plan, I rest in assurance He will one day show me.
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