motherhood

Wow. I see that my last post was almost 3 weeks ago. The delay was not intentional, but instead the blog took a backseat to priorities that needed to come first.

I began the summer dreading it. Selfishly, I was not ready to have both children home. I had carved out this nice little "me" routine with my one year old still occasionally taking two naps a day. Enter the summer. God knocked me over the head with the 2x4 that it takes sometimes and I realized the opportunity that I had. I could either hold a grudge (towards God? my kids? my hubby? I dunno) and make each day a drudgery or I could see it as a chance to pour into my children, having both in my care all day, each day. I prayed for God's help, and to the best of my ability, I aimed for the second.

Here we are two weeks from the start of school and I honestly don't have many regrets about the time I've had this summer. We mixed in some trips to the grandparents, two vacation Bible schools and an art camp, family hikes, playdates, and just good ole fashioned sprinkler playtime along with weekly trips to the library and park (well, back before it turned so hot). TV was limited and playing together was mandatory. My daughter and I have read a TON this summer. I am so proud of Lynn. She has really taken off with a love of reading. She had a reading incentive program for school this summer and she has bounded over the suggested weekly minute totals. I wish I could say the same for her math facts skills, but we'll have to continue to work on that for the next few weeks as well.

I read an article on motherhood as a calling by Rachel Jankovic (from the desiring God website) that really hit home for me. How was I viewing motherhood? This article is a good synopsis of all that God has been reminding me of as I choose them over my selfish endeavors (& time wasters) this summer.

Jankovic writes -

If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

......

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.

Um. Wow. A calling. A duty. A responsibility. Defending our children. Taking a stand for them. Telling culture that they're more than a collection of something that's "cuter than stamps" (that totally made me laugh out loud).
It's funny. I don't think I struggle with the idea that motherhood is of utmost importance, but I do struggle with making it the utmost of importance in my life. But, ultimately, I do choose them. It's a daily choice. Some days harder than others to remember. I choose to lay down my pursuits for raising them. For the God-given opportunity of being a mom. Motherhood.

So here I sit back at my blog and wonder how it will all play out when school starts back up. Perhaps I will have more quiet time to sort out my thoughts onto the blog. I hope so. I have missed it.