chapters

Guess it's no coincidence that the weekend I am 'fessin up to my sulkiness, I am also being "featured" by A Preacher's Wife's "Married to the Ministry" blogroll. And... it's no coincidence that I thought I sent her an email awhile ago explaining that "technically" I am not currently a Pastor's Wife (yikes! sorry about the miscommunication!).
Nope, nothing to do with coincidences, as I believe it's God working behind the scenes, even of something so trivial as my blog. :)

So, on I will roll and if you're here via A Preacher's Wife, then "hello" & bear with me. I try to be real on my blog, and that includes the good and the bad ;) While I may not currently be in vocational ministry, I have been in your shoes and realize that there are unique challenges, but also that you have a lot of the same struggles as other women not in ministry.
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I thought I'd chat a little about challenges, since that's kinda where I left off.
I'm going to paste one of Piper's challenges from the same article as before...

That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.

The "No chapter has all the joys." really stood out to me. I feel like we have been through so. many. chapters. Our life has changed, uprooted, and morphed a ridiculous amount of times in the 10 years we've been married. It is interesting to look back and realize that there were joys in each one, but along with those joys came struggles in some form or another.

Most recently, after hubby lost his job at the church, I felt like we entered a new chapter. Once the initial emotions subsided, we entered this time of questioning and sorting through what happened and what to do next. It was a time that challenged my husband and I personally and also as a couple. We drew closer after losing Nathan, but right after the job loss, there seemed to be a wider chasm between us. I think we communicated, but we didn't always see things the same.
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This weekend's message at church challenged us to forget about the "why's" in life and to focus on the "who's." Spending time in Isaiah 55, the Pastor reminded us that God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours. If we spend too much time asking God "why," we will loose sight of "who" we are able to minister to and share our struggles with. We will loose opportunities to share God's glory with others. We will loose opportunities for joy within that (seemingly painful) chapter in our lives.
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I think both my husband and I have worked to go beyond "why's" in our circumstances. I am seeing the little joys in this chapter, despite my selfish moments, and have most definitely connected with others during this time that I otherwise would not have. I feel that my husband would say the same. While it's tempting to try and guess why He has us in this time, it's much more beneficial just to say, "Praise God for His higher ways!"