whispering..

...A Broken Hallelujah. The song by Mandisa seems to resonate in my life. Almost two years ago, I sang this song when words couldn't come close to expressing the heartache I felt and the magnitude of my need for God to carry me through.
Today I sing the song again. While my precious second son healthily smiles and grins here next to me, God has allowed us to come to another valley, of a different sort. With no warning, my husband lost his job yesterday. For the past six years we have served in three churches. Two and a half of those have been at our current church. My heart finally felt settled in this area. In this church we spent our deepest time of need for love and support, in which we received it from friends and church members when they banded together to help us through the loss of our son. Unfortunately it feels like betrayal when some of those same members and staff decided to cut my husband's position. I'm not saying that their support two years ago wasn't sincere or that they still don't care for us, but it hurts when those that you have leaned on and counted as friends pulled the rug out from under you. This is the nature of a vulnerable and tender life/position in vocational ministry. Those that we share our lives with so intimately, that we share our spiritual journeys with, are those that hold your future in their decision-making hands. We are confused, hurt, torn, and (trying not to be) bitter. But we so desperately want God to make sense of this and are open to His leading. We ask for your prayers.