I don't think that when Courtney posted this first assignment, that I realized how hard this would be for me. (Click the banner above for more details).I am not a dreamer. I am not someone with expectations for the future, well, for anything. I don't mean that in a lazy way, just that I take the day as it comes. As far as expectations go, I would rather know your expectations and then shoot to exceed them. So, in a nutshell, I guess I hold high expectations for myself, but don't expect anything of others so that I don't get disappointed, hurt, etc. Weird, I know. But, my high self-expectations can be tempered by my lack of "ability" to dream. I am not the gal that comes up with the idea; I am the gal that will help you work to put that idea in action. So for me "dream big" about what I want to see accomplished in my life? Tough. Here goes...
In My Marriage? I want to see my husband and I celebrate (at least) fifty years together, with our children and grandchildren beside us. Bigger dream? I want to always give 150%. I want to learn the art of selflessly communicating, listening, and serving my husband out of love. I have so far to go... Big, silly dream? Being able to travel around the country (so much of the USA that I'd love to see) with my hubby, upon or before retirement!
In My Spiritual life? I want to be God's hands and feet, effectively reaching others for the gospel. I don't know right now where that means. Being a youth pastor's wife has always meant serving in my local church, most cases within the youth ministry, but being out of vocational ministry for over a year has opened my eyes to meeting needs outside the church. One of those ways is that I've begun serving within an infant and child loss support group, being a support parent to a mom who recently had a miscarriage. I'd love to continue with this group. Bigger dream? They expressed a desire to expand their online ministry and I think I'd be able to contribute within that niche well. I'm excited to see where that might lead.
In My Career? As a mom, there'd be no greater joy in my life than to see my children come to know their need for a Savior and turn to Jesus for that life-saving grace. That they would strive after a life pleasing to God. That I will be used in that process. That's my big, bigger, and biggest dream.
Outside of my role as a mom, I really just don't know. My pastime of choice is photography. To be able to make money from that hobby would be amazing. Right now, I am not devoting enough actual field time to it. I watch podcasts, read articles, and participate in forums, but am not out every day behind my camera shooting in nature. Bigger dream? To take time to simply go out and photograph. To have boldness to just wander gardens, grounds, and trails by myself or in front of a crowd. For those photographs to be purchased would be even better. I don't need the recognition to consider it a dream fulfilled, but the practicality of making money off of something I like to do? Perfect. Big, silly dream? That someone would actually pay me to travel and photograph somewhere for them!
Ok, I got through the list. No, it wasn't that horrible. :) In actually it's fun to dream, but sometimes the crash back to earth can be rough. May that crash never scare me out of having big dreams...
2 comments:
I understood exactly what you were saying in the beginning, about not expecting much from people so that you don't get disappointed. I grew up battling that...my parents promising that we were going to do things and never doing them. It's a hard thing to overcome. But I admire you for going through with the assignment, even when you weren't sure you could! Hopefully this project will help you to implement some ideas on how to reach every single one of those goals!!
Wonderful, i understand you in the beginning. I have a weird fear of disappointed so i avoid situations where it may arise. Its kind of weird and hard to describe but i think you understand!
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