my roles

Having a hard time lately. (Although I must say, sipping some coffee now while little one is sleeping, does make my outlook a little less worrisome and a little more positive, lol). I'm just going to be flat out honest. I sure don't have it all together. I have been challenged by some preachers lately, wondering what's the point of I all fill my time with and strive for. When I look at the clock and count the actual number of hours I have awake... 17 or so hours... it seems like so many to fill. But, when I actually do the living during those hours, they slip away like nothing.

I am called to be a wife and that means...
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31, ESV)

I am called to be a mom and that means...
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31. ESV)

I am to be reminded by older women (and remind those younger than me) that I should...
4 love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2, ESV)

I am such a rule-follower. I find comfort in knowing what the rule or expectation is, so that I can simply follow it or work to over-achieve it. But maybe that's just laziness. It doesn't take much to fill the worlds' expectations, and unfortunately, I think that's what I've been striving for.
According to the Westminster Catechism, the "chief end of man" is simply to glorify God. But have I been doing that? Have I been striving for His expectations - have I been looking to fulfill my roles with His definitions of what that means?

Do I spend more of my time reading about others' families, instead of investing in my own? That's a hard question that I need to address in my life.
Do you fall trap to the same tendencies? I encourage you to seek God about how you fill your awake hours as well. It might not be pretty; it might be a huge awakening; it might mean change; it might be just what He wants you to do.