avoidance

One of the blogs that I am subscribed to is 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter. Surfing through (youth) girls' ministry sites lead me to an article posted here several months ago. I encourage you to check it out if you minister to or have girls of your own.
A post last month has been rolling around in my head and I cut out the section that caused me to stop and think. The post is titled Learning to Suffer Well by Jamie Lamb.

She says, "I've been reading Thomas Merton's, "The Seven Storey Mountain" (a great read) and when I hit the following sentence I had to stop for a while and think...actually I've done that a lot with this book but this is one of those times when someone else puts into words what you've been rolling around in your head for a long time. Here's what he said: “The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” (boldness added by Mrs. H).
The article's main topic is about our sense of entitlement and our desire to avoid suffering.

It got me thinking about my loss and how if I'd been afraid of suffering again, we never would have tried to have another child. Never trying again would mean that I would have never had Zane.
We limit ourselves thereby limiting what we will let God do in our lives when we let fear of suffering overtake us.
Sure, the nine months of pregnancy wasn't always easy. Many days I wondered why I was even pregnant again. Why we were opening ourselves up to the possibility of another loss? Fear got in the way many days. I had to ask God to take away that fear of loss. Fear of suffering can be paralyzing. It can keep us from achieving what God has for us... the fullness of joy after the heartache of sorrow.