last days

Yikes. Two days away, well, seeing that it's almost 10pm, less than two days! I am being induced on Thursday morning! I will get to hold this little man in my arms in just two short days. We set the date last week and since then it's been a mix of emotions. Monday I dealt a lot with fear... now that the end was in sight, would he live to make it into my arms or would I lose him? Monday I literally cried... and cried out to God. He carried me through the day. I was tempted to run from my house, to run away from seeing anything baby. It was like this unconscious attempt to protect myself. Today was more nerves about labor/delivery... getting everything done and ready and being nervous about how the day would pan out on Thursday. Despite an upset tummy, I went out and returned a few "extras/duplicates" from my shower this past weekend as well as my bi-weekly grocery shopping. I have been swelling a ton lately and the morning out today didn't help me this evening. In addition to major swelling pressure in my legs, I have been having some painful contractions. They went on for about a half an hour before dinner, subsiding when I drank a glass of water and proceeded to fall asleep during a movie that I was "watching" with my family. They're back now again. They're not lasting long, but are more shooting pain from my front around to my back. They pain is hitting every couple of minutes, but hits then subsides. I think I'll sign off and do the water and lay down thing again. I could fall asleep for the night, so maybe I'll just call it bedtime. I'm not familiar with hanging around for contractions as I've only been induced with my labors.... leaves me feeling a bit more nervous as I have one more day to get through until our "labor day." Thank you for your prayers, and I'll be in touch...