Tuesday, April 21, 2009

the great rubber band effect

Sitting here working today. (To explain - I work from home, going through delinquent mortgage files, sorting, tabbing, etc). It's a pretty mind numbing job, so usually I listen to sermons while I'm working. Earning money and being challenged by some great preachers - I am totally blessed to have this job! Anyways, today I had enough of the preaching and just turned on some tunes after awhile. Well, that means my mind wanders. And I just have to confess, since I'm trying to be transparent on this blog, that I battle crazy things in my head. Regarding the pregnancy these days. Part of the time I realize I'm essentially ignoring the idea of the child within me b/c if I don't think about it, maybe it'll just lie under the "tragedy radar" and things will go smooth and I'll have myself a perfectly, live healthy baby in Nov. Then I realize how ridiculous that is and I spend time lifting little one up in prayer. I am constantly dreaming of the nursery, getting ready for his/her arrival and then I caution myself to not move too fast. It's like this rubber band effect. Or a yo-yo. And if you've been there or are there, you know what I mean. Funny. (Ok, not really). Hopefully by throwing that out there I can comfort someone else who is in the same situation. You are not nuts. :) Or if you are, then I am as well.

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