Monday, April 20, 2009

1st checkup

Warning: whining to follow.
And, if you're like me reading baby loss blogs when the blogger is now pregnant again and the reader is not, you will think "She has no reason to whine. Doesn't she know how blessed she is?!" Let me answer with a cautious, loving note: Yes, I sure do know how blessed I am. You can not imagine the awe and wonder I still feel when I contemplate what God has now given us again. (New) life is never to be taken lightly or flippantly.

All that to say...
I just got back from my doc's appt. I'm a little disappointed... no more ultrasounds til the typical 20 wk scan (beg. of July!) Basically it sounds like all the special treatment will start when I get to 32 wks. I'll go in twice a week for fetal stress test/monitoring and get ultrasounds to check baby. Providing everything looks good, they'll let me go all the way til 39 wks. So... I know if everything is well, that is the best for baby, otherwise why would God have made our gestational period 40 wks, but I'm still disappointed as that's even longer to wait :) I was under the impression from the specialist I saw and other nurses, that I'd be induced closer to 36/37 wks. So looks like little Miss or Mr should have a bday around mid-Nov. He was like, we'll deliver you around 39 wks, get you home and recovered in time for Thanksgiving. Great... ;)

On a less whiney note, getting back into a better perspective here, everything felt fine (had the lovely first internal exam) and I heard baby's heartbeat again, hooray! So, I'm totally totally feeling blessed, but just a little quiet I guess. No royal treatment was given/felt, but then maybe I'm just selfishly desiring too much. When it comes down to it, I just want the best for my little kiddo and I need to get over the earthly reassurances that will show me that. Life is a walk in faith. The next seven months are no exception. It's prayer and the Father's hand that will continue growing this little one until it's time, no amount of ultrasounds will change that. :)

1 comment:

HDMac said...


It is ok to be a bit quiet and pensive..... your heart is in the right place! God knows that... and He knows you are trusting Him..... I think it is wonderful that you are genuinely sharing your thoughts and feelings... you know they are never hidden from God anyway!

praying with and for you, my friend,