Thursday, January 8, 2009

comfort, mostly

Well, an update from my previous post... the appointment started out fine. We found our way to the correct part of town and found the office. An hour later, we get called back for a quick blood pressure check and then were put into a consultation room. Another thirty minutes later, the doctor comes in, empty handed. Apparently, when my obgyn made the appointment for me three and a half months ago, my medical chart did not get faxed over as thought. I was quite upset. I came for a second opinion and he wasn't even able to read over my "story!" Errr... But, anyways, the doctor wasn't concerned and just asked me to talk about what happened, my gyn. history, medical history, etc. All in all, after the hour he spent with us, I left feeling better. Feeling like it was "ok" to start trying again, that I could return to my regular ob for the next pregnancy. Some of his recommendations would be that with the next pregnancy, we'd be monitored monthly by ultrasound, hooked up to a fetal stress test monitoring weekly in my last two months, and even be induced at 37 weeks. Apparently, those are pretty standard recommendations for subsequent babies after a loss like mine (all that is what my regular ob had talked to us about doing our next time around). The doctor today did not see any reason that I should switch my ob office to his high risk specialist practice, although I was welcome to. I'll be considered high risk within my regular ob office, but my history and loss did not warrant anything beyond that. As I write this out, it sounds like it's not enough, like I want to scream "Do you know what I went through? Treat me special!" :) But, you know, I truly truly believe (and I was able to share this with the doctor) that God knows my yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He will guide me to and through the next pregnancy. Yes, I will like the extra monitoring, etc., but ultimately I and my next child (& the rest of my family) are His and within His sight each minute of each day. I will make the choice to rest confidently in that fact. I'm ready to put it all in His hands and open to trying, open to whatever He may have for us next. Thank you for your prayer. The afternoon was extremely long and sad recounting Nathan's death, but God's comfort was felt. Praise Him!

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

I'm glad you felt good about the appointment. I can totally relate to your desire to be treated differently in your next pregnancy after what happened with you last one - I've had similar thoughts myself. Like you said, though, God is in control and will watch over your next baby even if you don't have all the ultrasounds, stress tests and extra appointments. As I've contemplated my own next pregnancy, I've gone back and forth between being terrified and being completely at peace. For the last month or so, I've been mostly at peace with the knowledge that God will carry me through another pregnancy, but I obviously have no idea how I'll be when I actually am pregnant again. I hope and pray we will both find out what that experience is like soon. You continue to be in my prayers.