missing

I haven't really known how to write and capture how things felt or went this Christmas without little Nathan. I felt a little empty - that was probably the best way to describe it. Knowing that part of my family was missing. Decorating this year, I remembered a picture that we had taken last year of Lynn kissing my pregnant, but not showing yet, belly. I remembered thinking that day that our new little one would be there the next year... that I'd have to get a new stocking to add to our mantle... wondering if it'd be a girl or a boy.
This year, things were a little different than expected.

Reflections on Christmas, with someone missing....
There were no baby toys under the tree this year.
There were no giggles of excitement as Nathan put ribbon and bows in his mouth.
There were no sticking bows to Nathan's head, laughing as he sat clueless to their presence.
There was no spoon feeding baby food into Nathan's mouth, trying to hurry because there were more presents to open.
There was no reading the Christmas story with a squirming 7th month old in our laps.


I put our little "hope" figurine under the tree to remind us of his spot in our family. Someone was missing this year from our presence, but in our hearts, he is there always.