Tuesday, February 2, 2010

22

Day 22 of hubby's unemployment. Day 22 of waiting to see what God is going to do. Day 22 of enjoying having my hubs at home. Day 22 of swallowing fear and frustration, trying to be patient and let healing happen. Day 22 of wondering whether I should work, since I've been offered a job. Day 22 of being glad that I declined that job, knowing that I need to be here with my newborn and for my daughter and hubby at this point. Day 22 of secretly hoping hubby will find a secular job and we can rest from ministry for a bit. Day 22 of not wanting to squelch my husband's calling to full time youth ministry. Day 22 of feeling out of the loop. Day 22 of missing our students. Day 22 of feeling in a weird position. Day 22 of knowing that our relationship with our students is dwindling. Day 22 of thinking about if we can keep that relationship up, if we can ever still have an impact with them while we still live here. Day 22 of knowing for that answer to be "yes" that we need to invite them over. Day 22 of not knowing what to tell my daughter regarding our future. Day 22 of not knowing what to pray for our future. Day 22 of wanting to hide my head under the bedcovers and not come out. Day 22 of wanting to scream. Day 22 of wanting to ignore it all. Day 22 of missing the routine of seeing friends weekly. Day 22 of simply putting one foot in front of the other and going. Day 22 of thanking God that I'm alive to even have a day 22.

2 comments:

HDMac said...

For I know Whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day! Praying for the unemployment situation!

hugs!

Ashley said...

This was beautifully written and expressed. May God work this situation together for good.