Monday, July 6, 2009


Ok... I promised a post regarding my thoughts on finding out "boy." I must admit, I've run the whole line of emotions and thoughts.
Before you think I'm nuts for what I'm about to share... a little background... my whole family is girls. I grew up with one sister, five girl cousins, & not a boy in sight (besides my dad, one uncle & two grandfathers) :) I think that because I was so focused that this pregnancy was exactly like my daughter and nothing like my son's, I also set myself up thinking "girl" from the start. When the ultrasound tech (amazing lady - did SUCH a great job, talking about EVERYTHING she saw and measured) pointed out our little one's "boy part" I was in silent shock.
First emotions...
Intimidation: What do I do with a boy? I'm not a boy, I don't know anything about them. How do you raise boys? Boys are so full of energy, will I ever be able to keep up? A boy brings in new parts and issues I've never had to deal with! :)
Sadness: Honestly, I also felt at first that because this one is a boy it would somehow take away from the specialness of Nathan. Like, I'd forget him just because I was now having another boy. Like people would think (I would think?) this boy would somehow "replace" Nathan or who he would have been.
Irritation: I have been saving all of my daughter's stuff (clothes, toys, everything) and now I'm going to have to add a whole new set of boy stuff to it? My house is not large (as in about 1200 square feet) and our attic is already packed to the gills with girl stuff. Why can't I just have a girl and already be prepared?!

Ok, now that I've embarrassingly spilled all of that to you, I am happy to report that I am now sitting here counting the weeks until I can hold my little man. I am excited to be having a boy. Do I have answers to all of my emotions above? Nah. But, God has allowed, through His Word and through talking with friends with boys, to calm my fears and make me eagerly anticipate what my relationship will be like with my son. I look forward to seeing what the mother/son relationship will be like. I look forward to meeting him and watching him grow into a man.

Right now, I am super content feeling him inside me (he is so active, at just 20 wks)! I am starting to dream in the color blue. :)

1 comment:

HDMac said...

OH, what a special blessing from God! :) And you didn't embarrass yourself at all...... just the thought process that you had to go thru.... Each of our children are so very unique and to think and be reminded of the life growing inside of you has been carefully and marvelously created by a God who loves and cares for us more than anything!!!!!!!!!