Monday, April 13, 2009


Getting ready for church yesterday, I prayed my way through my shower and would up stuck on a somber thought. The only moments I will ever be truly sure my baby is alive is when I am listening to the heartbeat via the doppler or ultrasound during a doctor's appointment. I had an ultrasound last week, but with us starting to spread the news around church, there's no way to be sure the baby's even still alive. What if we're telling people too early? What if we shouldn't have shared with Lynn? I don't want to devastate her again. I mean, there was no warning to the stopping of Nathan's heart and although I had just heard it loud and strong the day before, sometime that following day, it had stopped. Without me even knowing. That hits a mom where it hurts. Surely we should know when our child's life ceases to exist. We should know if our little one is struggling to "breathe" especially when that child is within you. But, it doesn't work that way. Not to be a downer. But, the idea had just kinda stayed with me through the day yesterday.

I did have a wonderful, joyous Easter Sunday yesterday, though. There was a high level of excitement around church. I went to early service, Sunday School, & then served nursery for the late service. Long morning, but so fun to see everyone dressed up and celebrating. Then, later, my hubby suggested we head out to a park late in the afternoon, where we finally got Lynn on her bike (she has had no interest and actually fights learning to ride). The weather was beautiful and the time out of the house together was a treasure. Lynn's off school again today for the long Easter weekend and I've taken less files this week, so I'm hoping to do something together. I'm not sure what, but it'll probably be just us girls. First we need to get up and moving though. :)

Hope you have a great Monday!

1 comment:

HDMac said...

I am glad that you had a nice Easter. It is always so special to think that our Jesus shed HIS blood so that we might live with Him eternally! ALLELUIA! We are SO undeserving yet HE LOVES US!!!!

I continue to pray for you.... I know that the thoughts can haunt you.... trust and know that no matter what the Good Lord has planned for you, it is His Will and His love and strength that will take you thru every day. Bless your hearts!!!!!!

In Christ's love,