clean up and wait

Feeling a little defeated today & more emotional this afternoon than I have been so far.
Let me back up... today I spent the morning cleaning out the art room (future baby room), more specifically my scrapbook desk/space. I have enjoyed scrapbooking, but I am not making the time to work on it. My completed (& work-in-progress) books just sit & collect dust. While I'll pull them out every now and then, I wonder if the time I've put in is really worth it. I do want to preserve my family's memories, so I don't want to go completely zero on the album idea, but something's gotta change. The next kid will be here this fall and scrap-wise, I'm still stuck back in Lynn's first year of life! My problem is that I want to scrap too many photos (i.e. I take too many pics!) My friend keeps up with her three kiddos by doing a 2-page spread for each month (per kid), but I can't pare it down that simple. I've debated just doing a slideshow of the "good pics" per year and starting to switch everything to dvd. But, that seems so cold, so I think what I'll do is still get the photos printed and put them in traditional albums. But, I'll use a pocket or two amongst the photos to journal a bit about the photo subjects and events. I don't know. For now that sounds good, but I haven't investigated if they even still sell traditional albums!? :) I'd like some inserts to be able to add the photo pages in with my existing scrapbook album. I have scrapped some current pics so it'd be nice to just add the old & more recent in around them, even though it might be a bit odd switching methods.
So, anyways... I guess going through that was a bit sad to decide on the "finality" of giving up the hobby. I also pulled out my pregnancy books and found a few baby toys (which I played around with :) then stuck on a shelf in the room. I'm just so ready for this baby. I feel like I've done my pregnancy time already and it time to have a little one out in my home. This pregnancy is going to be so super long. I had almost nine months with Nathan, nine months between his loss and this one's creation, and now another nine months until I hopefully can welcome new little one to our family. That's a really long gestational time period :)
After going through my desk, I went through and cleaned out Lynn's art desk and supplies. We'll eventually move her desk into her room. That will require some major rehauling of her room. I am so ready to do that, though. In fact tonight she said, "Mom why don't we move this chair out of my room and to the attic?" So, maybe the Lord is working on her heart - usually she is not so willing to part with things. I went on to talk to her tonight about eventually moving the desk into her room and how we'd have to move some things around, etc. No arguments (which means I know that God is working on her little heart). :) Maybe we should move it tomorrow before that willingness changes. haha.
Anyways, I know I just need to have patience. Each day God is working on the development of this little one. I am still battling the first trimester fatigue and that doesn't help. Time will move. Eventually I will get to meet this one, on earth or in heaven. So, I just need to wait and keep lifting him/her up to its Maker. Which I will.