Counting the days... we find out what baby H is on Wednesday! We did not find out boy/girl with our other two babies, however with this one, I want to know everything I can about him/her. One thing I learned about this pregnancy based upon losing Nathan is that I want to treasure each day that I have with this one. The days that I feel kicking are like little gifts. I know more of them are to come and it excites me to be able to have Lynn and Mr. H feel baby as well as he/she grows bigger and stronger. So, if I can know what this baby is and think of him/her more as a specific individual, if I have to say goodbye before I meet him/her, I'll know I did all I could to know him/her before losing him/her. Seems kind of sad to say aloud, but it's just a reality that all mamas to babies-in-heaven are familiar with.
I do have to say, though, that with my first child, Lynn, the surprise of not finding out what she was, was simply the best! If you think about it, there's not much that can truly be a surprise these days. What a thrill it was to labor through delivery then hear the announcement at the end of such hard work, "it's a (girl)!" Of course, I was still getting over the fact that I had just pushed out a baby (remember those thoughts with your first?) that the fact that she was a girl, didn't sink it until a few moments later. :) Soo... my advice to all first-time moms would be to wait and be surprised; it is sooo fun! (Decorating the nursery can come later, seriously, baby won't even notice a thing for many months).
Unfortunately, with my past, I just don't feel up to waiting for delivery right now. But, it's ok. It's something new for my family to find out, so that in itself will make for an exciting morning on Wednesday. Honestly, I am more looking forward to just seeing baby (for the first time since I was 7 wks) then even finding out what it is. Just for the record, though, my guess is girl. :)
3 comments:
:)
hugs,
Marcia
You know something that I learned? That I did not share my pain, or the long term grief with my children. I have told you that I lost Matthew. He was my 4th of 6th children. Melissa was born one year and 6 days later and she is developmentally disabled. I don't know if I was just so busy with the family that I didn't share what I was thinking at times, or if I thought I was protecting them, but Ben my youngest told me that he didn't even know until he opened a large display Bible that I had kept a family history in.... (he was born 3 years and 17 days after Matthew) So now, I do let them know somethings that I am thinking.... when there is someone about Matthews age present ... or when Matthews birthday comes around... ...
I just thought I would share that... something in your post reminded me of this... lol..
hugs,
Marcia
That is an excellent point. I haven't thought ahead, but I do want this next one to realize the footprints she/he's following. Others have named their "rainbow" babies names significant/tying them to their lost sibling. I'm not sure we'll head that direction, but it's certainly a neat way to always be able to share in the loss of one life to the beginning of theirs.
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